My Next Victim or My One and Only

Whoever and wherever you may be. I look forward to meeting you or I am proud to have you in my life. But I just wanted to let you know if you don’t already know that I don’t half ass things in my life… especially love. So if or when you love me, I’m the one who loves hard. So if or when you love me, I’m going to love you deeply and only you. Unlike most of the people in this generation… I know how to love the “right way”. I love like no other and when or if I do love you I will change your life, if you are able to digeste it.

No relationship is easy. I’m going to test you. You can test me too. I just want to see if you are even worth the time. If you are worthy of my love. My version of loving the “right way” includes and requires loving equally. I have loved a lot of people who could not match my love. Which is fine, pain means strength and knowledge of what and who I want. I know love can be one of the best things we have in this lifetime. I don’t want perfect, I want honest. But are you willing to risk getting hurt and take chances for the relationship we deserve? I know I am, in hopes you can love me back.

In loving you the “right way”, I give the absolute best of myself and cannot fear pain. You can say “I will never hurt you” but love is a gamble and I know this. In a world full of liars, we need to be upfront people. So I am going to do that now. The best quality about me is that I know how to love. With that said I will never intentionally hurt you. Unlike the others in our generation I want us to work. I want to have that relationship like in the movies. I had one once and I know all the challenges we have to face. We need to have trust and faith in each other. I know that means letting your guard down, being vulnerable, and having blind trust in someone.

Let’s talk about what hurt you in the past. I will tell you mine and all the scratches and marks that came with it. I will even tell you every detail of how and why they happened. It is scary I know, I’m not asking you to do that right way but when the time comes and when it does you will love me more for having to endure such pain and still being able to smile. I can teach you to get along and love your carcasses, instead of resenting them. I will except you at your worst and show you how to love someone at their lowest point.

I do not know if I am easy to love due to my value of love. I am very sheltered. I don’t trust a lot of people. I know it has nothing to do with you but with my past. I have learned that when you love to easy many people do not know how to return it or respond to it. I love really hard and not even the worst misery can change that.

If you are willing to that risk with me, I assure you it will be worth it. It is going to be a roller-coaster. In a society that communicates to only love with half of our heart, I cannot do so. I’m the girl that takes love to a whole new level. Just a limited of things I must ask for, be patient with me. I am very guarded. Trust me first, then I will start trusting you. I am not an easy person to love but if or when you do, I will love you deeper then no other and I will teach you to love better.

My Rules for a Happy Marriage

1.      Never both be angry at the same time.

2.      Never bring up mistakes of the past.

3.      Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

4.      If one of you has to win an argument let it be your mate.

5.      If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.

6.      Neglect the world rather than each other.

7.      Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8.      At least once a day trying to say one kind or complimentary thing to your partner.

9.      When you have done something wrong be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.

10.  It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.  

The Visit from an Old Friend

One day he is going to stubble across your Instagram page and see that you are doing real well. You received that promotion. You just purchased that new car. He notices that you are smiling just like he remembers you used to do for him. Then he is going to find himself about a hundred and twenty five weeks in on your page and see that you are doing really good. He is going to try to hit you up and your number is going to be changed. He is going to try to email you and that is going to be changed too. Then he is going to show up at your old house but finds out that love doesn’t live there no more and a hater at your job is going to give him your new address and he is going to pop up there. You are going to answer the door. You are going to look at him and say “what are you doing here?” He is going to tell you “I’m here to get you back.” You are going to look him in the eye and say “It’s too late.” He is going to try to push the door open and you are going to have a pregnant stomach. When he looks at your stomach and sees your hand. He will notice that you have a ring on your finger. Your husband is going to call you from the other room. “Babe is everything alright?” You are going to respond “Yeah just an old friend.” Your husband isn’t even going to come out and bother with you because he trusts you. That is when you turn to your ex and say “It’s too late.”

Mind- Blown TED Talk About Our School System

I was watching a TED Talk that was explaining where our education system has come from and how we use it today. Our school system has always told children that if they work hard, do well, and get a college degree that they will get a job. Well we all know that this isn’t the case now. Yes, it better to have a degree then not but that degree doesn’t guarantee a job. “The current system was designed… for a different age; [which was] the intellectual culture of the Enlightenment and economic circumstances of the Industrial Revolution.”( Ken Robinson: Changing Education Paradigms) What is Robinson trying to tell us? Is he trying to say that our school system was organized like a factory? Yes, that is exactly what he is trying to tell us. Let me go back to high school for a minute, they had bells to let you know when you were dismissed from a class and when you needed to move to the next subject. Bells in the factory let workers know when they can go to lunch or when they are dismissed from work. Schools have different buildings for different subject. Factories have different areas for different jobs. Instead of factorizing education why not try to make it broader. How? Robinson calls this idea “Divergent Thinking”. Divergent Thinking is looked down upon because schools ask a question and expect one answer. Children with divergent thinking come up with different ways to interpreting the question and the possible answers. Divergent Thinking makes educators have to think differently about human capacity [and]… get over the conception of academic, non-academic, abstract, theoretical, [and] educational and see it for what it is. A MYTH!”    

Myocardial Infarction

Story Time! This had to be one of the craziest and scariest experiences of my life.

On Saturday February 16, 2013 my sister turned fourteen years of age. The night before I baked a cake for my sister. I also baked a small peanut butter cake for my father to eat that night. So my father and I woke up early to get ready to go to practice and leave my sister in the house by herself with all her birthday gifts. My dad and I met my travel team at Towngate Park in Moreno Valley. Approaching for my father’s and mine worst day.

As my father spoke to the other coaches, I was starting my daily drills with my team. An hour has passed and I have done my infield and technic work all I need is my hitting, outfield, and base running then I would be able to leave. I finished my hitting in fifteen minutes then I started my outfield drills which my father was coaching. My dad looked really pale I asked him if he was ok and he said “yes” so I continued the drills but five minutes later my dad stop the drill and asked a parent to take over the drills so my dad can take a break. Which is understandable you are in the hot sun and your running who isn’t going to get tired. So my dad sat on the bench for two minutes then walked to the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom I was finishing my outfield drills that took forty-five minutes I was going to move on to my last drill that was base running but my father had not got out of the bathroom so I asked my coach if it was okay if I went to go check on him.

I got to the bathroom and I asked from the door of the bathroom if he was okay and he told me “No go get help and call your mom!” I ran from the bathroom to the field and I asked my coaches to get my dad from the bathroom as I called my mom. My mom did not answer the phone because she was at work. So when I was walking with my coaches to the bathroom my dad started walking down to the field he almost collapses twice he asked me I f I called my mom and I said “yes but she didn’t answer”. Then he said that he needed help and that he had to go to the hospital. My coaches took him to our truck and sat him down on the passenger’s seat my coaches asked if they can take him to the hospital. He said “Yes but Karina has to stay at practice”. I told my coaches no that he is not leaving by himself. The coaches started threating me saying I was wasting my dad time. So I took the keys and I was going to drive him to the hospital myself and the coaches weren’t going to stop me. My dad in pain couldn’t really talk I have not driven before in my life so my motivation to not freak out and calm down was I need to get my dad to the hospital on Iris.

Which I did I took him out the car and signed him in the emergency room. They told me five minutes so I sat him in the waiting room. Ten minutes past I asked the lady in the window she told me that she had ten people in front of him. I cursed her out and she called security on me and I showed them my dad was really pale and couldn’t breathe so they took him in quick and they sent me outside.

While I sat outside a lady was getting dropped off and it looked like her leg was swollen. This lady was in her 60s and she was a little plump so seeing her trying to limp her way into the hospital was kind of amusing. Even though it was amusing I didn’t laugh because that is the sign of disrespect my elders and I was not raised to disrespect my elders, well, besides the security guard he had it coming. She collapsed and I went to help her into the wheel chair then I pushed her to the door and I called for the lady in the front desk to help her because I wasn’t allowed in the hospital. The lady came and took her from me and I walked back to where I was sitting and I see the paramedics show up.

A group of nurses came out of the emergency room doors and my dad was on a gurney, one of the nurses came to me and told me that they called my mom and she is going to meet them at the riverside community hospital where they specialize in hearts. I asked why he was going there and why he couldn’t stay here. They told me that he is having a heart attack so they need to go get treatment quick. The nurse jumped on the ambulance and left.

Later on that afternoon, I was able to see my dad. While he was laying on the hospital bed I could help but start to cry. My uncle and my mom took me to the hallway and told me that he can’t see me cry because his heart wasn’t stable. So I decided not to go back in the room and stayed the night in the hallway. The next morning, while my sister and mom left to the cafeteria to get breakfast, I walked in the room while my dad was asleep and a nurse walked in to check on him. I asked the nurse if he was going to be okay and he responded “Yes, but he needs to keep up with his medication because that is what caused the heart attack. The diabetes caught up with him and he barely made it if he would have waited at least five more minutes he would have been dead.”  So I am not saying its right but it was a good think that I got kicked out the last hospital.

I was so happy to know that I can continue my journey with my dad by my side. As long as he keeps up with his medication he will continue to see my sister and I grow.



Change and Implementation

Change means to act or instance of making or becoming different. Implement means a tool, utensil, or piece of equipment, especially as used for a particular purpose. Some confuse change for being a bad thing and most of the time it is not. Change means that one is willing to grow and develop, either as a person, or a skill. Some transitions are not easy but they are not impossible, it comes in many shapes and forms, the situation also depends on how one takes on change. An athlete can make a few changes that can help the team but also can improve themselves.

Push Harder

            I’m sure everyone has heard the saying “Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder”. The saying means when things get hard overcome the obstacle and then some. The harder one works the more effective and most needed that athlete becomes. Plus, their teammates see how hard they are working and works just as hard or even harder. Positive attitude and effort is contagious in a team. The team just needs its own spark.

Comparing and Confidence

Do not compare yourself to other players. It is better to be yourself then trying to be a clone of someone else. Athletes have different potentials or gifts to offer the team that others can’t. Believe that you are special and that you bring something to the team. Low confidence means small or no trust. How can one achieve anything if they don’t trust or believe in themselves?  

Appetite to Change  

Change needs to be wanted. Yes, some changes can be forced upon an athlete but wanted change is more effective to themselves and their team. If one does not want to change then there will be no permanent outcome. The drive to change and improve is also contagious.

Coaches Discipline and Consequences     

Every decision an athlete makes there will be disciplined and there will be consequences. The things coaches make you do are nothing compared to what the consequences are in life. Coaches make athletes exercise to get them guys stronger and more athletic but coaches also use these consequences to help athletes learn from your mistakes and help enforce the coach’s discipline. Coaches are not only there to teach you the game. Coaches are there to help you grow as a person. Because I believe that a good leader/teacher should be someone that you look up to. Class, respect, strength and effort are the main subjects that help one be successful in life and these subjects are practiced in sports. Everything about sports can be related to in life. The next time you have to condition for punishment just remember that at the end of the day it benefits you.