Filtering People Out of Your Life

When people can walk away from you let them walk. You don’t need to try to talk to another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you. You shouldn’t care about how wonderful they are or how attracted you are to them. You shouldn’t care about the situation you are in. when people can walk away from you let them walk because your future is never tied to anyone who leaves. YOUR FUTURE IS NEVER TIED TO ANYONE WHO LEFT. People leave because they’re not joined to you. You try to get superglue and they will not stay. LET PEOPLE GO. You got to know when people’s part in YOUR story is over so you don’t keep trying to “raise the dead”. Realist that nothing just happens. If they walk away, it’s not an accident. If you tried to make it work and it didn’t, it’s not an accident. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go.

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Fondness

I knew exactly what love looked like in the 7th grade even thought I have never met love before. If love have wondered into my homeroom I would have recognized him at first glance. Love wore a football jersey. Love played the piano and played all my favorite slow songs. Love wasn’t afraid to sit next to me at lunch. I know I would have been checking the wrong hallway and classrooms. But if only I could find him. When love finally showed up he wore not only a football jersey but a baseball jersey as well. Love hated eating lunch and knew nothing about my favorite slow songs. Instead every time I would try to kiss love we would realize where we were and stop because of the situation that we were both in. Love became the reason why I lied to my parents like “I’m going to spend the night at Chabela’s house”. Love had amazing rhythm on the dance floor that all the adults would have a turn to dance with him. Then love disappeared slowly like a slug crossing the street, losing parts of myself that I thought I needed. Love vanished like the magician everyone can see except me. Love stayed away for years but when love came back I didn’t recognize him. Love smelled different now and he had a broader back with different scars I didn’t recognize. Love had songs that reminded him of… someone else. So did I. We found a bench that fit us perfectly. We found jokes that made us laugh. Love is a horrible navigator but a great driver. Love is cleaner now. Turns out love shits and love cries. Love will tell me that I’m beautiful and mean it. Over and over again: when I have just woken up, been crying, don’t want to hear it, don’t believe it, when no one else tells you. Love will still think that you are beautiful. Remember that love isn’t perfect and will forget when you need to hear it most. Love isn’t who you are expecting or what you predict. There are times that love isn’t ready for you or you are not ready for love. Sometimes love shouldn’t come when he is “supposed” to or love leaves exactly when he must. So when love comes welcome him. And if love leaves turn your music up and listen to the quiet because you will never know when love is going to come knocking on your door ready to stay.  

“Here’s to You” 12/14/17

Here’s to you even though I haven’t met you yet. Here’s to you bringing me and your father closer. Without you, I don’t know where he would be but I know for sure it wouldn’t be with me. After you, he wanted to walk through the door. I told him to slow down and wait a minute more. We can still make this last we just have to agree not to move so fast. Now you are in the sky and all we want to do is fly. We are your biggest fans. We hope you understand why we can’t be there to hold your hands. I hope the angels know what they have. We hope you are happy and more alive. Here’s to you my little angel, we miss and love you.

Mommy and Daddy

Never Date Someone Who…

  1. Break promises -They would only break promises if he doesn’t care about the relationship
  2. Hates animals- If they don’t enjoy the presence of an animals, it means that they have no empathy.
  3. Give you secondary treatment- They should treat you as their priority, not another option
  4. Claims that they are always right- They would go to extreme lengths to prove his point. Even if it’s wrong.
  5. Makes excuses- They are making excuses for everything means they have taken you for granted. Time to proven them wrong.
  6. Keeps the fight alive- Fights happen in every relationship. They are just things that you guys will not agree with but when the fights start to linger, and they continue to remind you of them, it’s not a good sign.
  7. Kills the conversation – They do not value your opinions if they are always cutting you off.
  8. Is a compulsive liar- They do not know the basic building block of a relationship trust
  9. Is clingy- They can’t understand the concept of personal space. You’ll be caged your entire life.
  10. Runs away from family responsibilities- If they forget their parents, they can easily forget you! Beware!
  11. Has a narrow mindset- They will not see the truth in different things, but only the differences
  12. Is abusive- Your relationship should be a safe haven, not a battlefield
  13. Is immature in their affairs- If they are used to cutting people off for no reason, they will cut you loose sooner or later.
  14. Disregards the relationship rules- if they don’t follow the rules you both have set then they don’t respect you.

My Next Victim or My One and Only

Whoever and wherever you may be. I look forward to meeting you or I am proud to have you in my life. But I just wanted to let you know if you don’t already know that I don’t half ass things in my life… especially love. So if or when you love me, I’m the one who loves hard. So if or when you love me, I’m going to love you deeply and only you. Unlike most of the people in this generation… I know how to love the “right way”. I love like no other and when or if I do love you I will change your life, if you are able to digeste it.

No relationship is easy. I’m going to test you. You can test me too. I just want to see if you are even worth the time. If you are worthy of my love. My version of loving the “right way” includes and requires loving equally. I have loved a lot of people who could not match my love. Which is fine, pain means strength and knowledge of what and who I want. I know love can be one of the best things we have in this lifetime. I don’t want perfect, I want honest. But are you willing to risk getting hurt and take chances for the relationship we deserve? I know I am, in hopes you can love me back.

In loving you the “right way”, I give the absolute best of myself and cannot fear pain. You can say “I will never hurt you” but love is a gamble and I know this. In a world full of liars, we need to be upfront people. So I am going to do that now. The best quality about me is that I know how to love. With that said I will never intentionally hurt you. Unlike the others in our generation I want us to work. I want to have that relationship like in the movies. I had one once and I know all the challenges we have to face. We need to have trust and faith in each other. I know that means letting your guard down, being vulnerable, and having blind trust in someone.

Let’s talk about what hurt you in the past. I will tell you mine and all the scratches and marks that came with it. I will even tell you every detail of how and why they happened. It is scary I know, I’m not asking you to do that right way but when the time comes and when it does you will love me more for having to endure such pain and still being able to smile. I can teach you to get along and love your carcasses, instead of resenting them. I will except you at your worst and show you how to love someone at their lowest point.

I do not know if I am easy to love due to my value of love. I am very sheltered. I don’t trust a lot of people. I know it has nothing to do with you but with my past. I have learned that when you love to easy many people do not know how to return it or respond to it. I love really hard and not even the worst misery can change that.

If you are willing to take that risk with me, I assure you it will be worth it. It is going to be a roller-coaster. In a society that communicates to only love with half of our heart, I cannot do so. I’m the girl that takes love to a whole new level. Just a limited of things I must ask for, be patient with me. I am very guarded. Trust me first, then I will start trusting you. I am not an easy person to love but if or when you do, I will love you deeper then no other and I will teach you to love better.

My Rules for a Happy Marriage

1.      Never both be angry at the same time.

2.      Never bring up mistakes of the past.

3.      Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

4.      If one of you has to win an argument let it be your mate.

5.      If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.

6.      Neglect the world rather than each other.

7.      Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8.      At least once a day trying to say one kind or complimentary thing to your partner.

9.      When you have done something wrong be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.

10.  It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.  

The Visit from an Old Friend

One day he is going to stubble across your Instagram page and see that you are doing real well. You received that promotion. You just purchased that new car. He notices that you are smiling just like he remembers you used to do for him. Then he is going to find himself about a hundred and twenty five weeks in on your page and see that you are doing really good. He is going to try to hit you up and your number is going to be changed. He is going to try to email you and that is going to be changed too. Then he is going to show up at your old house but finds out that love doesn’t live there no more and a hater at your job is going to give him your new address and he is going to pop up there. You are going to answer the door. You are going to look at him and say “what are you doing here?” He is going to tell you “I’m here to get you back.” You are going to look him in the eye and say “It’s too late.” He is going to try to push the door open and you are going to have a pregnant stomach. When he looks at your stomach and sees your hand. He will notice that you have a ring on your finger. Your husband is going to call you from the other room. “Babe is everything alright?” You are going to respond “Yeah just an old friend.” Your husband isn’t even going to come out and bother with you because he trusts you. That is when you turn to your ex and say “It’s too late.”